


It's A Sin To Tell A Lie

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:57:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blackwall's omission about his past leads to some poor birth control decisions, leaving Adaar to face his absence alone and pregnant. Written for kink-meme prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's A Sin To Tell A Lie

She knew this kiss was different. Every time he had kissed her, she had felt the restraint in his body. She could feel his desire, feel that passion for her, but he held himself back. She didn't push, even though she wanted him just as badly. But this kiss would lead to more.

He murmured as he undressed, warning her that he was not worthy, but it was nothing she hadn't heard before from him. When he was only in his undershirt and smalls, he helped her out of her robes, his hands tender against her skin. Even though she was so much taller than him, she felt remarkably small next to him. She could feel the strength in his hands when he touched her. 

They kissed hungrily, tossing off the last pieces of their clothing. She ran her hands down his chest, feeling his scars for the first time. He kissed down her chest and belly, reaching her sex. He kissed her folds softly, sucking lightly on her clit. His movements were slow, delicate. His fingers entered her just as gently, exploring her. It seemed an eternity as he continued his task, the world growing fuzzy and soft. She shook, her legs resting on his shoulders. 

He rose and she laughed slightly, seeing her juices staining his beard. He smiled, wiping himself clean the best he could. He knelt on top of her, kissing her gently. 

"I am unsure how to...the height difference and all," he stumbled.

"Same way," she teased. "You just might not be able to kiss me at the same time."

He chuckled, letting her wrap her thighs around his hips. He led himself into her and she moaned, throwing her head back.

"I've wanted this for so long," he whispered. 

He began to move and she spread her legs wider. He was not as far down as she was first expecting, his mouth brushing against her collarbone during a deep thrust. She wrapped her hand in his hair, holding him close to her as her other hand reached in the space between them. He arched his back, giving her more room, groaning as her hand tightened on his hair.

She stroked her clit as he moved slowly within her. She preferred a rougher touch generally, but this was their first time together. She appreciated how gentle he was, as if worried he would break her, even if she was a good foot taller than him and should could shoot lightning from her hands. 

The tension built in her and she grunted, circling her clit faster. He picked up his cue and thrust harder into her, moaning. She felt his hands grip onto her hips and she sighed happily. 

"You're not going to hurt me," she promised.

"Are you sure?" He smirked.

He bucked harder into her and she gasped, holding on tighter to him. She watched his face, his bitten lip, the sweat dripping off his brow. She rolled him over, pining him underneath her. He smiled up at her as she met his pace, pushing him in and out of her. He rested on his elbows, kissing her breasts as they brushed past him. She bent lower, kissing him hard. He moaned into her mouth, holding onto her hips possessively. 

"I can't last much longer," he groaned. "Can I spend myself in you?"

She groaned a yes, rubbing at her own clit. She gasped, her legs trembling as she reached her peak. She cried out, pounding him into her. She watched his face as she came, watched him follow her, grunting, his head tossed back. She felt him spill into her and slowed her actions, moving lightly before withdrawing from him.

He kissed her before rising. She looked up as he brought over a saddle blanket and wrapped the two of them in it. She grinned, kissing him again.

He stroked her cheek, the smile disappearing from his face.

"What's wrong?" she teased. "Was I not as good as all my other lovers have told me?"

He chuckled sadly, "I'm just worn out, my lady. You're insatiable."

She curled into him and said, "I don't want this moment to end. Let's just stay here, you and me. The rest of the world can deal with itself."

He nuzzled into her neck. "I think we can manage that a little longer."

oOoOo

She had woken up alone. 

Adaar stirred, looking around for Blackwall, but seeing no one. She rose slowly, slipping back into her robe. It was early in the morning, but it was conceivable that he had gone down to the mess or was slipping out to the latrine. 

She got down from the loft and saw a candle, still lit, on the workbench. The base held down a crumpled piece of paper, flapping in the wind. Adaar picked it up, not fully comprehending what it said. He was gone. 

Her first instinct was to throw it in the fire, but she needed some assurance this wasn't some nightmare. She folded it into her pocket and walked through the courtyard, coming to her own chambers. A servant went to bring her hot water and she sat on her bed.

She bathed without feeling the water, without feeling the warmth. She dried herself off and crawled into the sheets. She left the note on the bedside table, just underneath her stack of books. She knew she should say something, do something, other than lie there. She was so angry, so sad, it was too much for her to accept or deal with. So she laid there. Just for awhile.

Then she decided to get drunk.

She practically ordered Dorian to go to the Tavern with her, despite the fact it was barely light out. He sleepily ordered them a pint each as she explained what had happened.

"Bastard," Dorian grumbled mid-yawn. "Men are bastards. All of them."

She gave him a shove. "I'm pouring my heart out here."

"Couldn't you do it after lunch?" He whined. "A man needs his beauty sleep."

"You more than most."

"You take that back," he said. "I'm the most beautiful man you've ever seen and we both know it."

She laughed and he patted her arm.

"The man is probably panicking. These Grey Wardens are such angsty types. Give him a few days and I'm sure he'll come back, professing his love and all that. Don't worry about it. And if he doesn't come back...screw him. You've got enough nonsense to deal with as it is without having to worry about boys."

She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head. 

"You know what," Dorian said, "let me talk to Varric. We'll have a night of Wicked Grace and drinks to get your mind off of it. It's time you learned, after all."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "I can do that."

"If he's not back in a week," Dorian promised, "then we will continue this discussion by having Sera draw a picture of him while we throw darts at it."

She smiled. "Okay."

oOoOo

Menstrual cycles were a tricky business, her mother had once told her after she had come home crying at 16 with her first pregnancy scare. There turned out to be nothing to worry about, but Adaar had been convinced she was pregnant, even if she had only been making out with a guy and had just touched his penis with her hand, nothing more. Her mother had laughed and sat on her bed beside her. There were lots of reasons a woman might miss her monthlies. Sometimes weight loss, sometimes stress, all sorts of things. If a woman started to panic every time her bloods were late, she would never get anything done. She gave her a quick reminder about safe sex and Adaar was comforted, spending the next 10 years of her adult life not worrying. 

But she knew this time something was wrong. She was almost two weeks late. And yes, saving the world was stressful, but that had been the case for months. She knew she should have someone examine her, but she didn't want to cause a panic. If it came out that the Inquisitor was pregnant, or there was something else wrong, it would only undermine their cause. 

Eventually, she went to the infirmary and spent a long, worried night waiting for any news. She brought Dorian in with her the next day, the mage squeezing her hand affectionately. When the healer told her, her face softened. Dorian patted her on the back, cheering slightly.

But she didn't stay with him, but found herself wandering into the gardens. Morrigan was nearby, chasing her son around a rose bush while he laughed. She smiled at her, waving her over.

"You have need of me, Inquisitor?" She said, catching her breath. "Kieran, go back to your studies for a little while."

He waved to Adaar before chasing off, curling underneath a nearby tree with his books. Morrigan gestured for her to sit down on a bench facing the garden.

"I have...some questions," Adaar said.

"I thought I answered everything you could possibly ask," Morrigan teased, "but go ahead."

"What was it like raising Kieran alone?"

Morrigan said, "It was difficult at times. It was what I had chosen for myself, yes...but that did not make it much easier. I was alone when he was born and spent much of that time in hiding. It was easier in Orlais, but by then there were servants and other children to play with. Those first two years were very hard."

Morrigan looked over at her. "Are you in a similar predicament?"

Adaar nodded.

"There are methods of ending an unwanted pregnancy," Morrigan said softly. "If you have need of them, I would assist you."

She shook her head. "No...I want it. It's just...it's scary. I'm not sure what to do. I'm just...a little shocked. I just always thought Grey Wardens were sterile...that's what any report I've ever read says."

"Kieran's father was a Grey Warden," Morrigan confided. "It is not always the case, but it is very, very rare. Usually magic is involved. And I have seen Qunari-Human children before. They usually look more human than anything else, but the child would resemble you a fair bit. You already don't have horns, so that won't be passed on, I imagine."

"Did his father leave?"

"I left," Morrigan said. "We were not lovers, it was simply out of necessity. But this is not your case, is it?"

"It's been weeks," Adaar said. "If he's not coming back now...I guess he's not coming back."

Morrigan touched her hand lightly. "You have many who care for you here and the Anchor places the child in no threat. You are a strong, capable woman and women...we have been raising children on our own for a very long time."

"Thank you," she murmured.

Morrigan simply smiled in return before leaving her side, coming to sit beside Kieran. She laughed at something the little boy said and she put her arm around him. Adaar smiled. She could do this.

She returned to the tavern, where Dorian was sitting in Iron Bull's lap. The mage jumped out and went to her side, holding her hands.

"You're going to be an uncle," she grinned.

The pair both cheered and Bull lifted her up, spinning her around the room. She giggled as she was put back on her feet.

"I'll tell Josephine," Dorian said. "She's going to throw the biggest party."

"I'm sure me having a child out of wedlock is not going to impress the nobility," Adaar reminded.

Dorian waved her off. "It will only add to the legend. The mysterious father-less child."

He stopped himself but she shook her head.

"It's fine," she said softly. "I've got my family right here at Skyhold. I don't need anyone else."

She heard Sera shriek from upstairs and run down, jumping on her excitedly.

"I knew it! I knew it!" She laughed. "I KNEW IT! I told Bull you looked knocked up, didn't I say that?"

Adaar rolled her eyes. "Well, this is going to be fun."

oOoOo

Despite the initial quite vocal reactions, eventually things settled down. Josephine struck the balance of not outwardly declaring the pregnancy, but not negating any rumours otherwise. As a result, Adaar was never sure who knew, but frankly, didn't care. She had finally heard back from her own parents, who threatened to come to Skyhold themselves to look after her. She had told them to stay put, but Leilana promised to keep an ear out for them.

She was settling into the third month, starting to feel the beginnings of a bump, though no one other than Cassandra claimed that they could see it. Either way, she knew she had to invest in some more forgiving robes. 

She was making her way down to the smithy to have some fashioned when she was stopped by a messenger, clearly out of breath. He passed the note to her, resting his hands on his knees. She read it and her heart stopped. They had found Blackwall. Or at least, knew where he was going to be in less than a week. That was barely enough time to make it to Val Royeaux, but she had to try.

She chased back up the steps, calling out orders as she went. There was no time to waste.

oOoOo

His eyes met hers as he was led away to the prisons. Dorian had to hold her back from chasing after the guards, growling. Cullen had gone ahead to discuss the situation with the local authorities, leaving her pacing in the streets. The other three knew better than to ask how she was feeling.

Finally, she was allowed into the cellblock. She had no idea what she would say to him, no idea what she should say. 

She heard him call out quietly, "You shouldn't be here."

She turned, seeing him sitting on the stone floor. It had been only a few months she had seen him last, but he looked years older. 

"Neither should you," she said quietly.

"You weren't supposed to find me," he protested. "You weren't ever supposed to know. Better if you thought me dead or even some asshole then know about this."

"At least then I would know," she said. "Not wait for months to find out if you were ever coming back home. You broke up with me on a scrap of paper. You left me after..."

"I was selfish," he whispered. "Another thing to regret."

She knelt on the floor in front of him, placing her hands on the bars.

"Look at me," she ordered.

He did so, frowning.

"You should go, my lady," he pleaded. "I don't want this to be the way you remember me."

"It isn't all about you," she growled, standing again. "You just...you think you can make all these decisions for me? If you had just told me, Thom."

He flinched at the name. "I swear I was going to, but then...I fell in love with you. I've never felt this way. I didn't want to hurt you. I should have stayed away, I tried...Maker, believe me I tried. I lied about many things, but I never lied about how I feel about you. That night meant everything to me. It shouldn't have happened...I'm sorry."

She covered her face with her hands, trying to recover.

"What do I do with you?" she asked.

"Leave me here," he said. "I'm not hiding anymore. No one else gets to suffer for my mistakes. I wish you hadn't come here."

Adaar left the cellblock without saying another word. She went into the entranceway, where Cullen waited.

"I guess you were right to come along," she chuckled darkly. "Though I guess I did just fine defending myself this time."

Cullen said, "I'm so sorry. I know how you felt about him...we can get him out. Give me some time. It'll cost us...but only you can decide if it's worth it."

Adaar nodded. "Do what you can."

Cullen hesitated. "Did...did you tell him?"

Adaar murmured, "I don't know how he'll react. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

Cullen touched her arm. "I'll handle this. Get back to Skyhold. Hopefully I'll bring him back with me soon."

"If for some reason you can't," she said, "I don't blame you. Thank you for trying."

She refused to look back when she walked back into the streets, her friends waiting for her. She said nothing as she kept walking, trying not to cry.

oOoOo

"Inquisitor?" 

Adaar rose from the bed, holding her aching belly. She shook her head, trying to wake up.

"Come in, Josephine," she said tiredly.

Josephine walked into her chambers, holding her documents close to her chest.

"What's going on?" Adaar asked, rubbing her eyes. "Another hole in the sky?"

"Cullen has just returned from Orlais," Josephine said. "He has Blackwall, I mean, Captain Rainier in custody. All the bribes went through, finally. Orlais has given him to your judgment, whatever that might be."

Adaar sighed, "Give me a minute. I just need to clear my head."

"Do you need anything for your belly?" Josephine asked kindly. "A little tea and toast?"

"Later," she promised. "I just need to get this over with."

Josephine left the room, giving her space to readjust her clothes and hair. Adaar sighed. The bump was definitely bigger now, though still difficult to see if one wasn't looking for it. She shifted her robes and took a deep breath. It was time.

She had had three weeks to decide his fate, but all her plans went straight out her mind the moment she saw him kneeling before the throne. She barely registered what Josephine was saying, looking directly at the man in front of her. To his credit, he held her gaze just intently. 

"I am not worth the effort you went through to bring me here," he said, "You should have left me in that prison."

"You would be dead if I had," Adaar reminded.

"There are worst fates than death, my lady," he said quietly. "It was not worth corrupting the Inquisition's reputation."

"It's not all about you," she joked weakly.

She glanced over to Josephine, who pretended to be fascinated by her pen. Adaar glanced back at the man she had grown to love. She hadn't fallen in love with a Warden, but with him. She saw the same face, the same eyes, the same stance. She was willing to gamble on him. 

"I'm granting you amnesty," Adaar said, finally.

There was a slight uproar in the crowd and she continued, "You have your freedom, Thom Rainier. You have committed crimes against Orlais, but you have served the Inquisition. You may continue to do so, but under your true name. You equally have permission to go."

He shook his head. "You shouldn't do this..."

"But I have," she said. "So now the choice is yours. Do you stay or do you go?"

"I will stay and serve under your command," he promised. "I will atone for my crimes, for as long as you will have me."

Adaar announced, "I have made my judgment. The matter is closed."

He rose to his feet as she stood before him.

"When you are fed and bathed," she said privately, "come to my chambers. There is something I need to discuss with you."

He nodded before letting himself be escorted from the hall. She went back upstairs, shaking. Adaar had known that she could never chose anything else but what she had just done...but she still did not know how to proceed. There was a difference between letting him live and taking him back. But he deserved to know, before he found out from someone else. The math would not be difficult to do.

It was not long before she heard the door open and she jumped up, surprised to see Blackwall-Thom-Whoever come up the stairs.

"I bathed," he promised, "but I can't eat, I'm too...nervous, excited...there's something I want to say to you, but I want you to go first."

She admitted, "I don't know what to say. I'm so profoundly angry with you, but I can't let go of you...at least not yet. I just need to understand. I don't know who you are and that makes me feel so confused."

"I don't know what more I can say," he explained. "I lived as a Warden to be better. I was protecting myself, I was a coward. But I tried. I meant what I said in the prison. I love you. I understand if you send me away or never want to see me again. But you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. The man you loved...I don't know how much of him exists in me. But you made me want to be better, to be brave and good and wise. And I'm so sorry that I hurt you. If you gave me another chance...I swear to the Maker, I will never lie to you ever again."

"Maybe I shouldn't believe you," she said gently, "but I do."

He sighed in relief and she sat back on the bed, gesturing for him to sit beside her.

"And I meant what I said about the night I left." he said, touching her hand, "It meant everything to me."

"That night would have gone very differently if you had just told me the truth," Adaar chuckled. 

"Yes," he laughed, "I imagine much more screaming and throwing things."

"I meant..." she trailed off, "see, I knew certain things about Wardens and their sex lives-oh don't look at me like that-and I...well...I thought I was going to bed with a Grey Warden."

"You must have been disappointed by the lack of stamina," he apologized. "That is hard to fake, I must say."

"I meant the sterility," she said quietly. "I would have taken some precautions." 

He apologized again, "I wasn't thinking, when I asked, I thought you had taken something or that you were okay with the risk, I didn't even think you knew that and-"

His head snapped up, the truth dawning on him. 

"Are...you..." he stammered. 

She admitted, "You managed to surprise me twice in a very short time."

"I...I don't know what to say," he whispered.

"Just say you love me," she said softly.

He cupped her face in his hands and leaned in, his nose brushing against hers. 

"I love you," he promised. "Now and for the rest of my life."

Adaar kissed him, pushing him down into the bed. She scrambled to get his clothes off and he groaned under her hands.

"I'm still mad at you," she grunted, "but this pregnancy is making me horny as hell."

"So romantic," he chuckled, stopping as her hands reached his growing erection. He stopped speaking and tore at her clothes, throwing them on the floor. 

He paused slightly, his hand brushing against her growing belly. He leaned down, kissing the bump, before returning to her. 

"Get behind me," she ordered. 

He did so, his cock brushing against her ass as she rested her arms on the bed. He entered her suddenly, his hands gripping her hips. He groaned, moving inside of her.

She commanded, "Harder."

He pounded into her, his nails digging into her skin. She used her one arm to prop herself up and the other reached back, rubbing at her clit. She moved it then further back, touching her lips stretched around him. 

His hand left her hip, reaching to rub her clit himself. His hand brushed against her baby bump and she shivered, moving her arm to better support herself. She cried out as he went harder, grunting. His hand left her hip, reaching out to hold her breast, playing with a nipple between his fingers. 

He held her and withdrew, pulling them both into the sheets. He spooned around her and entered her again, pulling her thigh over his hip. She cried out, his cock brushing perfectly against her. When his fingers returned to her clit, she hit a crest that made her see stars. She was barely aware of anything outside of their bed, practically sobbing into the sheets. 

"Thom," she moaned weakly. 

"I like that name much better when you say it like that," he admitted, kissing down her back. "I might even get used to it."

She laughed in response, coming back to her senses. She moved with him, reaching back to squeeze his ass playfully. He bit her shoulder lightly before quickening his pace once again. She could feel him grunt into her skin, his body slapping against hers. He jutted inside her, slamming himself in before growing still. He panted as he withdrew, flipping her on her back.

"Any better, my lady?" He teased.

She rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at him. He caught it and set it back down again. He sat beside her and stroked her cheek.

"I love you," she admitted, "but I'm going to be angry still for awhile."

"Maybe you'll like me again by the time he's born," he teased, his hand returning to her belly. "It would be a shame if the first thing he ever hears is you yelling at me."

"It seems likely though, doesn't it?" 

He nuzzled into her neck and she held him to her.

"I swear to you," he murmured, "even if it costs me my own life, I will get you both through this war. I'm going to be a better man, my love. For both of you."

Her stomach grumbled and she asked sheepishly, "Do you want a sandwich?"

He laughed, "I'm dying for one. Let me go down to the mess, I'll bring you something up."

He stood, dressing hastily. He paused, noticing her gaze.

"Something the matter?" He asked.

"I know you said the both of us," she said sheepishly, "but I thought I should warn you...twins run in my family."

He grinned, "I'll make that four sandwiches then. Just in case."


End file.
